Helping Clients Release Anger and Find Peace

Categories: AACC BLOG

by AACC Staff

Anger—it’s a powerful, often misunderstood emotion. While anger itself isn’t always a sin, it’s easy for it to take root and cause damage, both inwardly and in our relationships with others.

Scripture calls us to handle anger wisely. In James 1:19, we’re reminded, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (English Standard Version Bible, 2001). But this isn’t always easy in a world that pushes us to react quickly and decisively.

As Christian counselors, we have the opportunity to help our clients find deeper intimacy with God as they work through their anger. Here are four steps to guide clients in handling their anger with faith and wisdom.

Recognize the Triggers

Help your client hone in on the sources of their anger by recognizing triggers. Anger is usually tied to specific situations, people, or memories—and when clients pause to notice what’s bringing angry feelings to the surface, they win a tremendous victory in the battle against rage.

Sometimes, anger’s earliest warning signs are physical. Anger often causes a rising heart rate, increased blood pressure, amplified alertness, muscle tension, and fidgeting. Teach your client to look out for these warning signs and write them down when they notice physical manifestations of angry emotions.

Once your client understands the telltale signs accompanying anger, they’ll be more equipped to fight back, take thoughts captive, and call on the Lord for help as they resist the urge to act on their anger sinfully (Clinton & Hawkins, 2009).

Take a Step Back from the Situation

In moments when anger rises, pausing to step back is essential—and far better than emotionally responding in rage.

Taking a break, pausing to breathe, or offering a quick prayer can calm immediate waves of anger and create space for God’s peace to enter. Proverbs 29:11 offers wisdom here: “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end” (English Standard Version Bible, 2001). Encourage clients to ask God to help them see their anger from His perspective. You can also encourage your client to take a 20-minute timeout, perform a light exercise until their anger has subsided, or talk with a trusted friend who can provide an objective point of view. While constructive advice is beneficial, venting is not (Proverbs 29:11, English Standard Version Bible, 2001).

Pausing to take a step back is a better alternative to emotionally responding with a destructive, knee-jerk reaction.

Learn to Express Emotions in a Healthy Way

Learning to express anger healthily is essential. Together, you and your client can brainstorm ways for them to express their anger healthily. Here are a few possibilities:

Respond with rational action rather than reacting emotionally.
Until a constructive conversation is possible, maintain a healthy distance.
Confront to restore—never destroy.
Empathize with others and speak slowly and quietly.
Surrender the right for revenge, knowing vengeance belongs to the Lord (Romans 12:19, English Standard Version Bible, 2001).

This part may take some practice. Be patient with your clients and encourage them as they work toward Christlikeness in this area (Clinton & Hawkins, 2009).

Manage It with God’s Help

Spiritual growth goes hand-in-hand with a battle against anger. As your Christian client grows in Christ, participates in a local church, and deepens their relationship with the Lord, their rage will begin to subside—but the process could be slow.

When we practice controlling anger, forgiving those who hurt us, and seeking vengeance for the Lord, we follow the example set by Jesus. Taking thoughts captive, confessing sin, seeking accountability, and repenting is hard work, but encourage your clients that they can do all things through Christ who gives them strength (Philippians 4:13, English Standard Version Bible, 2001). The Lord is pleased with our efforts to obey Him. He will complete the good work He began in His children (Philippians 1:6, English Standard Version Bible, 2001).

References

Clinton, T., & Hawkins, R. (2009). The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling. Baker Books.

English Standard Version Bible. (2001). Crossway Bibles.