When You’ve Been Spiritually Gaslit: Holding Onto the True Voice of God

Categories: AACC BLOG

Guiding readers back to God’s word in a sea of confusion.

by Dr. Natalie Atwell

Gaslighting is a popular term these days. There are videos all over social media about this specific word.

The term gaslight actually dates back to a 1938 British play called Gas Light, which led to a film of the same name in 1944. In the plot of Gas Light, an abusive husband manipulates his wife by lying, controlling, and leading her to believe she can’t make her own decisions—all so he can gain access to her family jewels.

This is a strong portrayal of how gaslighting can play out in relationships. It is a form of emotional abuse in its most serious and aggressive form. At the same time, we’ve all been guilty of exhibiting behaviors that could be considered gaslighting. It can be done without even realizing it, which is why it’s so important to learn about.

Gaslighting behaviors are characterized by emotional manipulation that causes another person to question their abilities, decisions, beliefs, and behaviors. The person on the receiving end is often undermined in such a way that they begin to feel “crazy,” and what often begins as questioning oneself leads to questioning their entire reality.

Biblically, gaslighting appears as early as Genesis 3, when the deceptive language of the serpent (Satan; cf. Rev. 12:9) caused Adam and Eve to question their decision-making and reality. Genesis 3:1 says, “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, ‘Did God really say, “You must not eat from any tree in the garden”?’” (New International Version, 2011, Gen. 3:1).

Notice how the serpent subtly changes the language from Lord God to simply God. This marks the beginning of deception. He begins to reduce the authority of who the Lord God is. The garden was likely full of divine beings that interacted with Adam and Eve, like the serpent did. Could the serpent be suggesting the Lord God was simply another one of these beings, instead of the one true Creator? It’s possible—and if so, it reinforces the serpent’s opening tactic: casting doubt on God’s identity.

Genesis 3:2–5 continues, “The woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, “You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.”’ ‘You will not certainly die,’ the serpent said to the woman. ‘For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil’” (NIV, 2011, Gen. 3:2–5).

Here, the serpent gaslights by lying outright—“You will not certainly die.” He also belittles Eve by suggesting she needs the forbidden fruit to know good and evil. Another tactic at work is planting thoughts of isolation. Satan’s lie could have made her feel left out, as if God were withholding something important from her.

The Fallout of Gaslighting

Gaslighting continues through the behaviors displayed by Adam and Eve. In their response to the Lord God, they shift blame instead of owning their sin. Satan influenced them, but they were not innocent—they chose disobedience.

Gaslighting today shows up in similar behaviors, such as:

Lying (even subtly or by withholding information)
Belittling or minimizing concerns
Withholding affection
Presenting arguments where no real options exist
Never accepting responsibility
Shifting blame
Isolating a partner
Causing the non-offender to feel guilty or at fault

In counseling, we see these patterns in many relationships. Counselors work hard to enhance communication, affirm individual identity, and teach healthy relational behavior. But it’s also important to be aware of when clients gaslight you.

Recently, in supervision, one of my therapists discussed a client who struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder. The client frequently blamed the therapist for techniques “not working,” despite the therapist’s care and professionalism. The blame-shifting became so consistent that the therapist began to doubt herself. Thankfully, in group supervision, we named the gaslighting for what it was and equipped the therapist with appropriate tools.

Spiritual Gaslighting

Gaslighting can happen to anyone. It starts subtly but can slowly erode a person’s sense of self. Spiritually, we must remember that deception is a tactic of the enemy.

Gaslighting by Satan involves:

Causing doubt in God’s sovereignty and your ability to obey Him
Questioning God’s identity, your identity in Him, or your call to represent Him
Encouraging actions that contradict God’s commands or justify selfish desires

But the Word of God grounds us. Psalm 119:11 says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (NIV, 2011, Ps. 119:11).

When others make you question your capabilities, remember the Most High God you serve and how He has equipped you. When doubt creeps in, ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern its source. If someone tries to instruct you to go against what you know is right and true, lovingly speak truth in return.

As Paul writes, “Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ” (NIV, 2011, Eph. 4:15).

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Insightful and personal with an intense desire to find biblical answers to mental health concerns, Dr. Natalie Atwell brings over 20 years of experience in the field of mental health. From her role as a practice owner and clinical director to her educational endeavors in college teaching, Dr. Atwell has been able to encourage individuals, groups, and organizations by sharing hope and healing from God’s word.

Currently, she leads a private counseling practice in the Charlotte, NC, metro area and enjoys teaching as an adjunct faculty member at Liberty University in the clinical mental health and school counseling programs. She is committed to serving her community, serving on her local county Human Trafficking Task Force, and collaborating with several non-profits.