12/30/2008

When Your Son or Daughter is Divorcing: Reaching parents with divorced kids:

Mom, tell Dad to pick up the other extension. I’ve got something important to tell you.” The tone of voice sounded ominous, and Beverly worried about the news that would come next. “We’re getting a divorce. We just can’t make it work anymore.” To read more Click here

12/26/2008

Procrastinators, don’t put off reading this:

Surfing the Web all night when you should be finishing an assignment that’s due … yesterday? You’re not alone. About 15 to 20 percent of the general population are procrastinators, with up to 90 percent of college students filling that bill. Now a recent study reveals some causes of the foot-dragging phenomenon and what dooms New Year’s resolutions to failure. “Essentially, procrastinators have less confidence in themselves, less expectancy that they can actually complete a task,” said lead researcher Piers Steel of the University of Calgary. Click here for article

12/25/2008

The Necklace:

Ed Note: My cousin from South Dakota, Donilyn Ziebarth, keeps coming through with some great stories that just have to be told—with a few editorial tweaks. This one especially sticks out, as it puts a real exclamation point on Tim’s Lead Article about God’s love. The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. “Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?” Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl’s upturned face. “A dollar ninety-five. That’s almost $2.00. If you really want them, I’ll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday’s only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.” As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace. Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green. Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, “Do you love me?” “Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you.” “Then give me your pearls.” “Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She’s my very favorite.” “That’s okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night.” And he brushed her cheek with a kiss. About a week later, after the story time, Jenny’s daddy asked again, “Do you love me?” “Daddy, you know I love you.” “Then give me your pearls.” “Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper.” “That’s okay, sweetheart. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you.” And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss. A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek. “What is it, Jenny? What’s the matter?” Jenny didn’t say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, “Here, daddy; this is for you.” With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny’s daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure. So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures. Isn’t God good? Are you holding onto things that God wants you to let go of? Are you holding on to harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits, and activities that you have come so attached to that it seems impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand—to even see or believe that there is another hand with something in it. Nevertheless, do believe this one thing: God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place. And not because you or I deserve it, or that the universe has been designed that way—it’s all about His immense love.

12/24/2008

High Enthusiasm Best for Relationships:

How a mate responds to positive events may have more to do to deepen marital ties than how one responds to negative news, according to research reported in The Monitor on Psychology (Jan. 2007). To put it another way, enthusiastic support to good news by one’s spouse led to higher relationship satisfaction than did compassionate responses to bad news. 79 couples were studied and rated for responses to various kinds of positive and negative information. Responses were coded as enthusiastic or passive, and destructive or constructive. Enthusiastic and constructive responses were not only found to be the best overall, but had greater impact for the good of the relationship than the best responses to negative information. “The best your partner can do [whey you are upset] is bring you back to an average state—a not-upset state,” said UCLA psychology professor Shelly Gable, the studies lead researcher. “Positive events offer a lot more opportunity for growth in a relationship because there is a lot less on the line in terms of stress and self-esteem.”

12/24/2008

Gratitude: The Antidote to Desire:

Many of us have a lot to be grateful for: a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, clothing to keep us warm, family and friends to share life with, etc. But - how many of you know someone - perhaps many someone’s - perhaps yourself - who might have some or all of the above things and still have difficulty appreciating them? Click here