114: From Anger to Intimacy: Reignite Your Marriage with Forgiveness, Understanding, and
Ted Cunningham, M.A.C.E.
Woodland Hills Family Church
3953 Green Mountain Dr.
Branson, MO 65616
Marriages thrive when heartfelt apologies are given and received, conversations continue until both spouses feel understood, and words of high value are spoken over one another daily. The bond of relational, emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy strengthens when both spouses feel safe, heard, and valued. Whenever anger takes up residence in marriage, intimacy moves out. Unresolved anger drains a marriage of kindness, care, gentleness, and honor. Anger can be triggered by rejection, judgment, failure, control or lack of control, neglect, loneliness, or inferiority. If a spouse feels abandoned or left out, cheated or mistreated, overlooked or misunderstood, the result is often anger. When left unresolved, anger leads to strife and contention. You have heard it said, “Unresolved anger is like drinking poison expecting your spouse to get sick.” Some sip the poison, while others drink it by the gallons each day. This poison threatens your relationships at work, home, church, and in the community because you never bury anger dead. If you do not resolve anger toward your family of origin, past relationships, or a previous marriage, it will resurface, and your spouse usually bears the brunt of the wrath. This workshop explores factors and skills necessary to experience high levels of marital satisfaction and deep levels of intimacy. It will benefit struggling and crisis couples, as well as prevent thriving marriages from drinking the poison.
• List six effects of anger: blaming your spouse, questioning your compatibility, closing your heart, isolating from others, doubting your future, and exploring other options
• Identify the six levels of communication that a coach or pastor can use to take couples deeper in conversation and understanding
• Analyze effective and ineffective apologies